Kurbaan - An attempt to confuse the audiences by not-so-confused film makers

An auditor of one of the world's top auditing firm once told me that only Karan Johar's Dharma Productions and SRK's Red Chillies Entertainment make profits. The rest make good cinema.

I had not completely agreed to this in our conversation that took place a month ago until on Friday, I shelved out Rs. 500 for watching Kurbaan at a suburban multiplex. Now to get you started, let me introduce you to the newest concept sold by production houses like Dharma Productions to the audiences and the distributors. A huge poster at the box office reads 'You can watch Kurbaan here almost anytime in the day.' True. The multiplex screens 21 shows of the movie in an average interval of not more than 30 minutes.

So after creating the hype by overtly promoting the movie by its leading stars on news channels, music channels, radio, newspapers, magazines and hoardings from as early as three months before the release of the movie, you tell the audiences that the movie is such a steal that there would be riots at the box office if they do not screen 21 shows a day.

Ok. Lets apply some mathematics. If a normal screen at a multiplex can seat around 300 persons per show and if the ticket price on the first three days is Rs. 250, a single multiplex collects Rs. 75 lakhs in these days. You can feel free to make further calculations of the multiplexes and single screen theatres in India and abroad.

This way, by Monday while the disappointed audiences will give their reviews to even those who haven't asked for it, it would have been very late and Johar will have the last laugh. To top it all, rave reviews about the movie will appear on front pages of leading newspapers. Now not many would know that these are paid reviews. By Tuesday, front page jackets of leading newspapers would scream out how Kurbaan has been the highest grosser of the year declaring it a superhit next only to Sholay.

After a brief introduction of Bollywoodonomics, let's talk about the movie. Kurbaan lacks soul in every department of film making be it music, script, screenplay or direction. FOr those who are still reading further to know about Kurbaan, treat the first five paragraphs as the review!